That Guy!

I knew he was out there, but I had not yet had the pleasure of his company. Oh, I had read about him on Sherdog and the UG, but I had never shared mat space with a “that guy” of his caliber. Sure, I had experienced the joys of a spazzy white belt and the splendor of the tapout tough guy. In my experience these characters often settle down shortly after being grabbed and quickly submitted by one of the senior belts. Nothing prepared me for the “my style is superior to your style and I’m going to prove it” (MSISTYSAIGTPI) guy.

This “guy” is incorrigible and will resort to whatever weapon in his arsenal he thinks may gain him an advantage. Better yet, he (in my experience it is most often a male) will bitch and moan about how his most efficient weapons are nullified by the customs and courtesies of BJJ. More to the point, if we were fighting under his rules, I would see some (and I’m quoting) “shit that’ll make my head spin.” Fair enough, I’d like to see this “shit”.

Not too long ago I had such an opportunity to witness such splendor when a MSISTYSAIGTPI graced us with his presence. At about 6’3 and 210lbs. or so he was hard to miss when he sauntered into the academy sporting a brown belt. I’ve trained at, and visited, a number of different schools offering other martial art styles other than BJJ and always assume that I should be wearing a white belt until told otherwise by the instructor. Whatever the case, the MSISTYSAIGTPI who I was later told holds a brown belt in Krav Maga (do they even have a belt system?) performed the warm up and drilled the technique, but seemed anxious to test his skill.

From the outset of rolling it was obvious that the MSISTYSAIGTPI had little fighting skill. But more frightening for the blue belt rolling with him, he was getting extremely frustrated. Not longer after I heard a “what the f**k are you doing” from across the academy. It seems that the MSISTYSAIGTPI thought it appropriate to start punching his partner in the stomach and then the face. He was politely told that punching is not allowed in BJJ and if he did it again he would be asked to leave. He mumbled about how such restrictions just proved BJJ’s ineffectiveness. Oh really?!

One of the senior belts saddled up to me and explained that I would be next to roll with the MSISTYSAIGTPI. No pressure, eh? This reminded me of times in my youth when my hockey coach would tap me on the back after an opposing player cheap shotted a teammate. I knew then, just as now, what my job was and there was not much point in arguing.

After complaining about the BJJ rules, the MSISTYSAIGTPI and I slapped in and commenced festivities. I arm dragged him and easily took his back and choked him. After doing the same thing over and over, he complained that he was handicapped by his inability to attack my fingers. Being allowed to do so would enable him to escape the choke by breaking every finger on my choking hand. Hmmmm… being a little more than mischievous, I encourage him to give that a try. Slap in, arm drag, grab the collar...grab my fingers...tap. I asked if he had anything else he’d like to try? He looked at me sheepishly and declared - “I’ve got to learn this shit”!

Now, about that brown belt…

Best,

Bryan

bjjstudy@gmail.com