The grind - self defence

Self defence was a grind when I began my BJJ journey. First, because after being enticed by the first UFCs I couldn't understand, really, why we couldn't just get to the fun stuff and roll. Second, self defence training was painful. Being thrown (I wasn't adept yet at breakfalling), having my arm bent in odd directions, being twisted & etc., is marvelously harrowing for my body that was more accustom to more genteel pursuits like golf (yes, I know) and the odd daring foray into cribbage (not to be confused with cabbage!). Third, I wasn't convinced how effective all of this was against an aggressor. Finally, it wasn't pretty. I had gotten over the fact that the aesthetically pleasing puts bums in movie seats. What I was being taught may have a certain beauty to the trained eye, yet to my neophyte gaze all this seemed quite unpleasant. 

With this in mind we would half ass our way through the motion until it was time to roll or work on some cool choke. Through this admittedly dreadful attitude I was missing out on some really important messages that are imparted more implicitly. Moreover, the nuance of self defence and, by extension, BJJ was completely lost on me. It wasn't until I did a private lesson with an individual who earned the Master rank in BJJ did I learn some of the subtleties of self defence that make all the difference. This was about 2 years ago. Since then, although I still enjoy rolling the most, I have attempted to understand the essence of self defence. 

I see and hear all the time that BJJ wouldn't work in a street fight - even though the early players tried and tested many techniques in such situations. While we can debate the merits of this line of thinking around and around, such discourse seems to overshoot an important point. Separating the assault mindset from that of the competition may help us here. In his book, Meditations on Violence, Rory Miller makes the distinction this way: "The assault mindset in a sporting competition is completely unacceptable. From the assault mindset, if you are scheduled to fight a world champion heavyweight boxer on Thursday, you shoot him on Tuesday." It follows that self defence is about survival and doing everything possible to make it out of the unfortunate situation alive. As is often the case, this is about controlling the situation, as much as is possible, and escaping. Getting out of there, rather than continuing the fight. Jeff Joslin makes a similar point here. There are simply no advantage points for "almost" choking a guy who pulls a knife and there is no reason to continue (or even start) the fight once the situation is under control.

Self defence in the gym or dojo setting can be fun and relevant provided it is trained intensely and incorporates an element of surprise. To this end, one of my training partners who is a higher belt will randomly attack me when I least expect it. I am forced to defend the attack because they will continue until I have controlled the situation. So if you ever meet me and notice I have a nervous shoulder shrug you now know why!? 

Of course all of this still lacks an element of realism and I would not suggest otherwise. Little can prepare you for the aggression and violence of a surprise attack. Working in a youth detention centre gives you a great deal of perspective on the carnality of violence and of what humans are capable - both in attacking and defending. It is amazing what people can accomplish when fighting for their lives. An anecdote from Miller gives some perspective: 

"One of my students was concerned that she couldn't hurt a large man. I told her to imagine a two hundred pound man holding a small cat. ... imagine I throw a bucket of water on them. What happens?"

"The cat goes berserk and starts scratching the guy up."

"Does the guy let go?"

"Probably."

"So the cat wins?"

"I guess, Sure."

"So you're telling me that an eight pound cat can hurt a big man and you can't?"

"The cat has claws and teeth"

"And you don't?"